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The word ‘relationship’ can be an emotive one in the care sector, as it has long been perceived as a negative, something that should be avoided and can even be considered inappropriate when related to children and young people who have experience of the care system. However, we cannot do our jobs without relationships, and we can only better support our children and young people if we have strong relationships with them. Our work is relational, and can only be done with a relational approach. Being able to tell and show a young person you care about them has long been discouraged within the social and care sector however this is now changing, albeit slowly at times. When talking about relationships with young people, professionals are often concerned about safeguarding and how the relationship would be perceived by employers and peers. Research has shown that the more open a relationship the safer it can be. We also have to weigh up the potential risks of young care leavers not having any strong relationships with the important adults in their life. This should not hold you back from supporting a young person but should give pause as to how this can best be achieved to keep everyone safe while enabling a healthy and reliable relationship. There are organisations that can support this and ways in which continued contact and support can be done through an open, person-led approach. You may be one of the only people the young person trusts or feels close to, and this is so important to their moving on from care and subsequent progression through life.
There is considerable research that evidences that moving on from care is a time of high risk for care leavers, and positive relationships can provide essential support to help ensure a successful transition to interdependence. The Promise brings to the forefront that children have a right to relationships and that we all have a responsibility to ensure they can access the relationships they need. In our job roles we will not, and cannot get the best out of ourselves or those we work with without strong relationships. Getting to know young people enables better support and a more tailored, individual approach and understanding of them as a person, not as part of a system. It can help respond to emotional and psychological need and it can help recognise changes in behaviour in a young person you know well. Care experience young people are vulnerable to abusive and volatile relationships – your relationship with them could be the positive influence they need to better manage and understand relationships. You can help a young person understand what relationships can mean and look like – different contexts, different types, how do they manifest. Care leavers are more likely to experience toxic relationships – need help to respond to emotional need, calm potential conflict. Safe, stable relationships help young people build attachment, develop self-confidence and esteem, resilience, in addition to helping them build trust in adults again. They can learn positive relational experiences as opposed to previous negative experiences and trauma. By building a strong connection with someone you could also create a much-needed sense of belonging and identity. It is well documented that young people who experience positive relationships achieve better long-term outcomes, care leavers deserve the same opportunities. Having strong, trusted relationships in their lives will only enhance their wellbeing.
You should develop your own understanding of what relationships mean in the context of your work in supporting young care leavers and how this can positively influence their life. Be open and honest at all times and work to build mutual trust and respect. We advise you to discuss relationships with your supervisor or peers, and if continuing a relationship beyond your professional boundaries that you ensure everyone is kept safe by agreeing boundaries and expectations. There are organisations who can offer support to continuing relationships and provide a framework to let the relationship develop and grow safely.
You should also read The Promise. If you have not already done so, it is an extremely important policy guide which is informing much needed changes within the wider care system across Scotland. Relationships are a key focus, and it will play a significant role in improving how Scotland’s children and young people are cared for going forward.
*Relationship-based practice is an approach that prioritises building trusting, consistent, and empathetic relationships as the foundation for support. *It recognises that meaningful change and positive outcomes are more likely when young people feel valued, understood, and safe in their interactions with adults. *It focuses on the quality of the human connection rather than solely on procedures, emphasising active listening, authenticity, and mutual respect.
*Trauma-informed practice recognises how common trauma is, and how deeply it shapes young people’s development, behaviour, and relationships. *It aims to create safety, avoid re-traumatisation, and promote resilience and healing. *Early experiences leave lasting marks on body and mind. Trauma-informed practice takes this knowledge and applies it so practitioners and organisations can build safe, healing spaces.
Introductions matter — when, how, and where they happen can shape a young person’s entire experience of transition. For young people in care, transitions are often the most difficult times, especially when they involve changes in trusted relationships. This guide looks at how to approach introductions and referrals through the lens of relational practice, focusing on building trust and avoiding unnecessary stress.
What do IT systems and relationships have in common? Both usually run in the background and are easily taken for granted. Yet, IT systems can have a big influence on the quality of relationships and relational practice in general.
One of the first things you learn when you start your job is when you need to arrive and when you need to leave. Have you ever considered that the pattern of your work affects the relationships you are building?
Organisational values influence the working culture. They can inspire workers to follow the organisation's mission. However, for them to have an impact they need to be developed with staff and young people.
It is important to keep learning and growing. Recognise your staff’s value and expertise by developing internal training and discussion sessions. Enable staff to learn and train more. Training should not be a tick-box exercise but a place for growth and reflection.
As is often said, hurt people hurt people – it is even more important to consider the flipside: supported people support people. Working with young people and caring for them can be a demanding role, especially in under-resourced and stressful environments. A truly relational organisation also invests in the relationships between managers and staff, creating a positive environment for everyone.
Relationships are shaped by the culture of organisations. Sometimes one person who ‘doesn’t get it’ can create relational barriers for an entire team. So, it’s easy to see why recruiting the right people is critical to create and maintain a relational organisation.
Strong relationships take time, effort, and trust. For young people with care experience, this can be more complex, requiring patience, consistency, and a clear sense of boundaries. With the right approach, you can build positive, lasting connections that support the young person’s growth and relational skills.
