Kinship care means a young person is being cared for by someone they already know—often a relative, but not always. The legal and practical definitions of kinship care can be complex, and sometimes these definitions make it harder for carers to access the support they need. Whatever the circumstances, building and maintaining a positive, trusting relationship with the young person is the most important foundation. In some cases, that relationship is already well established, and you may simply be looking for practical guidance. In others, trust may take time to grow—particularly if the young person has experienced disruption, loss, or trauma. Many young people in kinship care have faced difficult life events. As a carer, you may also have faced challenges—both before and during the placement. It can be tempting to “just get on with it”without seeking help, but support is essential for you and the young person in your care.

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Young people with care experience may exhibit challenging behaviour due to their experiences – this can be frustrating to deal with. How we perceive andinterpret these behaviours influence how we react. Some young people maystruggle with things like:

• Trust – being distrusting of adults and professionals.
• Be defiant – hard to compromise with.
• May struggle to concentrate & focus – which can make school difficult.
• May isolate themselves – which can lead to issues with socialising.
• May struggle to make or maintain relationships with peers – this can lead to further isolation.

Some things you may want to consider to support a young person:

• Speaking to them honestly and openly about their feelings
• Validating their story, their truth and their perceptions.
• Being able to answer any questions they may have about their childhood, experiences and identity.
• Look at ways you can both support each other – practically (household duties) emotionally (being available for advice) and socially (having fun together)

Ask what they need and how best to support them. Setting boundaries with young people in these situations can help whether the situation is new or needs are set. You can read more about boundary setting here.

These are just suggestions – the right path needs to be tailored to the individual.

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You might find it helpful to seek for advice from people who have experience as a kinship carer and other experts. Fortunately there is the National Kinship Care Advice service for Scotland:

Helpline: 0808 800 0006 (Monday to Friday 10am-2.30pm)

Email: kinship@adoptionuk.org.uk

Website: kinship.scot

You can also get information and support from:

The social work or children’s services department at your council - if the child you care for has recently been living in a different local council, you'll normally need to deal with that local council

Local support groups - you can meet up with other kinship carers to share experiences. The local council or the Citizens Advice Bureau can help you find a group in your area

To support young people in schools Virtual head teacher support

‍Here you can find more information on trauma and how to support young people who have faced difficulties and disruption - Developmental trauma information pack.

Here you can find information from the ALISS website (A Local Information System for Scotland). You can also find services and supports on lots of other topics here.

Remember, it is okay to find it difficult sometimes. Focussing on the relationship can be a pathway for home life to become more stable.

You can also find support through local kinship care groups by searching here

You can also visit Adoption UK's Kinship care advice service on their website for support and advice for kinship carers here.

The Scottish Government have updated guidance for those in kinship care and their carers which you can find here